Welcome to our first episode commentary for AHS: 1984!
Flashback: 1970
One minute into the new season and there’s already sex. I’m pretty sure this is a new record for American Horror Story.
Also, the cliche cabin set totally reminds me of Friday the 13th, but perhaps that’s the intention?
Nonetheless, we’re two minutes into the show and I’ve already witnessed one of the most gruesome death scenes in AHS history- with enough blood to probably last the entire season. But seriously? What’s up with horror films always outing the characters while they’re trying to sleep with one another? A moment of vulnerability?
Regardless, one of the campers, a seemingly innocent female, is drug to the door so that the killer- who is not Jason Vorhees- can cut off her ear for his personal collection? Apparently, this is his signature?
Finally, a tracking shot pans back through the cabin to reveal a complete slaughterhouse- everyone inside the cabin was ruthlessly butchered, and it’s downright disgusting.
Thus, it concludes the opening of the new season and I’m fairly intrigued.
Credit Sequence
I really love the nostalgic 80s retro vibe- a series of harmless shots interspersed with blood, gore, and Ronald Reagan- which is really charming (This is also how I totally envision the 1980s. I should know since I completed a 25-page history research paper on the decade).
Following the opening credits:
Perfect Aerobics! A dance studio montage to introduce our main characters? Nice to meet you too, Chet! Also, these outfits are absolutely perfect for the show’s setting and they really make you wonder why people liked them so much back then.
As a brief digression, I’m so happy to see Emma Stone back in the main role- she’s playing a character named Brooke who seems like the most awkward person in the room. Plus, she’s the new girl in town so I guess Brooke needs some help on fitting in with the rest of these unusual characters.
The show’s main plot is slowly starting to emerge- these fun characters are all going to be camp counselors! Simply because one of the other guys recommended leaving the city for the summer, but not for Brooke! She’s going to be a vet and camp counseling would totally interfere in those ambitious aspirations.
“You’re not gonna want to be in town this summer, it could cost you your life.”-
No sir, I think you have the wrong impression. Do you not hear the creepy background music?
10:14
It’s nice that the creepy music decided to follow us back to Brooke’s apartment. What a great mood setter! And is that an engagement ring? Surely, there’s some sort of history involved but we probably won’t find out for at least five or six more episodes.
10:15
Brooke’s apartment has been invaded by a rather aggressive intruder with terrible hair, but he is kind of attractive? And his name is the Night Stalker? So, I guess he’s definitely gonna be around for a while.
Until then, I hope he enjoyed that nice pan to the face! What else would you expect from someone trying to defend against a home invader?
10:16
Brooke has resorted to alcoholism and bad choices following her stalker incident. She’s agreed to be a camp counselor now with her other new “friends” for a non-stop party because they have plenty of weed!
10:17
As a way to provide some background, Chet was apparently kicked out of the Olympics and it’s not because of his hot body which he enjoys showing off for the camera.
10:18
Our new gang have made a quick pit-stop at the shadiest gas station they could find which happens to be managed by a guy who looks like he completely hates everyone. Of course, he’s also really opinionated, especially when he discovers that our new band of characters are going to Camp Redwood: “Go back to the city, they never should have opened that place up again. You’re all gonna die.”
– Wow, thanks creepy gas station attendant!
By the way, is that Def Leppard on the radio? Yeah, it’s totally the 80s.
10:19
The next series of shots resume our journey to Camp Redwood. Of course, the path is never easy, and now we’ve had a car accident because we somehow ran into an innocent hiker!!! And we’re going to take bandana guy back to the camp because he conveniently forgot his memory and we can lie about running his ass over.
10:21
Welcome to Camp Redwood, the recycled setting of the Friday the 13th Franchise.
10:25
Hi, Margeret! And hello Ribbon Brand product placement!
10:26
I’m glad we actually managed to get bandana guy to the infirmary. I half-expected him to die on the way over and somehow parody I Know What You Did Last Summer, but I guess he’s gonna be okay. Nevertheless, it’s time for a tour of our new favorite setting!
Also, we keep hearing about the camp re-opening, but how long is it gonna take before someone explains to me why this was a thing?
10:28
Speaking of characterization, Margaret is turning out to be a total strict dictator. No sex, no drugs, and separate rooms for boys and girls?
Also, do you really have to call-out Van Halen?? Actually, it was an excellent joke.
10:29
It honestly wouldn’t be a legitimate episode of AHS if there wasn’t a good campfire scene. The perfect setting for a good massacre.
“Nothing bad is going to happen here.”- Montana, 2019 (let’s see if her prediction comes true!)
But now it’s time for a great ghost story from the camp nurse? Let’s do this!
Here’s a fun fact: Camp Redwood is the site of the worst camp massacre in history? Because a man named Mr. Jingles has really bad PTSD from the Vietnam war?
Flashback- 10:31
Mr. Jingles conveniently had the highest kill rate in his squadron, and he was really good at murdering civilians. He also liked collecting trophies…
That sounds familiar.
After returning from the war, the only job he could secure was at the camp? And he decided to go off one night and slaughter an entire cabin of adolescent teenagers?
End of Flashback
Insert Margaret into the equation who apparently has the real scoop on Mr. Jingles.
Also, as an aside, alcohol and funny-smelling cigarettes are not allowed at Camp Redwood. But how else would our characters lose their inhibitions?
Oh! And only nine campers died that night, not ten…which makes it so much better.
*Cue creepy Halloween-esque music*
And that tenth camper? Yeah, it was Margaret. She was there the night Mr. Jingles decided to go AWOL.
New Flashback:
Margaret survived the attack because she saw a bubble and followed it to the light? She also witnessed Mr. Jingles cut off her ear but the light somehow managed to keep her from reacting? Bro! Why did you come back to this place? I would be traumatized for the rest of my life!
“I can’t escape him. That’s why I bought this camp. To take all my darkest memories and turn them into something bright.”
-Excuse, me?
10:35
Yay! Our resident bandana guy is waking up! The first thing he does is check his appearance in the mirror only to realize that his ear is missing. So, this guy must have also been apart of that massacre too? But he also survived so that means only eight people were killed…. I really didn’t solve anything, did I?
10:39
Nothing beats the lure of the night to set the tone for the next scene. And look! There’s a creepy guy with a knife!
Honestly, bandana guy deserves kudos for surviving a direct hit from a van and a life on the side of the road with no memory.
“You have to leave, something terrible is gonna happen.”
-Thanks a bunch, bandana guy!
Also, I truly believe the phrase “wigged out” needs a return into modern vernacular.
10:41
Introduction to Trevor? The activities director with an entire case of beer.
Wait! Is this Jake Gyllenhaal? It looks just like him! Hold on …Correction, it’s Mr. Schuester from Glee! Wow, the mustache really threw me off.
Anyway, that distraction cost me valuable time and I have no idea what just happened in the previous scene other than the fact that Mr. Schuester and Montana apparently decided to go skinny dipping in the nasty lake.
Don’t you guys know that Jason Vorhees lives out there?
And now they’re having sex…great!
10:44
Setting Change: we’re now at a mental hospital? In the middle of a thunderstorm? And patients are simply running around in the rain?
Okay, so one of the patients escaped…who wants to guess which patient that might be?
Of course, it’s Mr. Jingles.
Flashback- 10:45
How did Mr. Jingles escape? Allow me to enlighten you. Apparently, Mr. Jingles tricked one of the attendants into thinking he hung himself. However, of course, this man can hang himself for hours without consequences so he manages to take out the attendant. He also releases other prisoners from their cells (I guess as a distraction) which ultimately allows him to escape without any consequences,
10:48
During the proceeding investigation, a character finds a newspaper article that Mr. Jingles was hoarding in his mattress. The article mentions the reopening of Camp Redwood, so I guess we know where he’s going? It seems awfully early for this development, but I guess there’s probably a lot more to this seemingly inconsequential plot than what I’m understanding. After all, if the plot continues in the direction it’s started in, then we’ll have no need for an entire season.
10:52
Our gas attendant from earlier has decided he’s in the mood to fix his car in the middle of the night while a thunderstorm is raging outside. However, given the horror music in the background, I’m assuming he’s also about to receive an unexpected visitor?
10:54
Hello, Mr. Jingles!
Also, crushing a guy with a car is a rather morbid way to die.
10:55
Chet went off because he really can’t get over his failed Olympics career.
Meanwhile, Mr. Jingles is now also a car hijacker because he needed a ride to Camp Redwood.
Wait, this guy is already here!?
10:57
Brooke is terrible at finding bandages, and she also really left Ray out there in a storm?
Infirmary update: Bandana guy is dead…so there were 9 deaths on the night of the worst camp massacre in history!
10:58
Enjoy this intercut of Brooke running for her life through the woods while the others enjoy the Olympics on television.
In typical cliche horror story format, Brooke has managed to literally throw herself down on the ground, but that won’t deter our main protagonist. Thankfully, Mr. Jingles isn’t in the mood to kill anyone else, so everyone thinks Brooke is insane.
10:59
And Bandana Guy? Yeah, he’s gone so…. I guess Mr. Jingles keeps all of his victims now?
11:02
Phone Call? Who could it possibly be in the middle of the night?
(insert the sound of keys in the background)
And then there’s the Night Stalker!
Sorry, new number, who dis?
Anyway, I guess that concludes our first episode. I’m rather underwhelmed because of the show’s predictability, but maybe that’s the intention. Hopefully, we’ll get some good stuff in the episodes to come.
